Time passes. Sometimes so slowly that you can't wait to see that second hand tick by...just a little faster. Other times it goes so quickly that you're left wondering how you got here so fast.
The past month has held both kinds of time for me. It all started with the death of an old friend. It had been years since I had connected with him in any way, but it still hit me really hard that he was gone. Part of it was the tragedy surrounding his death, but the other part was that he was just "one of those people." You know the ones I mean...the ones who stay with you and neither time nor distance can break that bond. He was, and always will be, one of my people.
After slowly starting to come to terms with this, I got sick. Have you ever had vertigo? If you have, you know how bad it sucks. If not, I don't know if I can properly describe it. It's like being dizzy ALL THE FREAKING TIME. Doesn't matter if you're sitting, standing, lying down--the room just spins. I saw multiple doctors frequently, but no one could figure out the cause; only that it wasn't going away. I got medicine to help me cope, but there wasn't much else I could do. My entire life was put on hold. No driving, no working, no writing, no...anything.
Then, life comes along and dealt me another blow. This time in the form of losing my grandmother...one of the single most important people in my life. She didn't just help raise me, she instilled the very best parts of me. She was my number one fan and my biggest cheerleader in life. Losing her was very much like losing a piece of my soul. One that I don't think I'll ever get back.
But, as it always does, time marches on. Big changes are coming my way in the near future and I look forward to it. Sometimes, we just need to step back and accept what is, even when it hurts.